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mybb@mybb.ru (vogeltje) — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 21:42:27 +0300

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night in the woods

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<center>tony hawks <a href="http://popitdontdropit.ru/profile.php?id=1786">moving</a> castle</center>

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mybb@mybb.ru (vogeltje) — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 22:20:28 +0300

he didn't turn on the lights.

the room was dark and empty�not empty, really. there was only nothing to see, in this pitch black space, so it was just thing-less, thought-less, and maybe even hinata-less. it was dark, and there was only breathing and a quiet and soft "are you alright?"

for once, the room wasn't kageyama-less.

the gentleness of it almost makes shoyo laugh and he blurts out, "have i dialed the wrong number?" he even checks the screen just to see tobio's name as if he wasn't really sure who he was talking to. "please don't make me worry about you. are you in pain?" but the laugh dies in his throat, never having been born, and hinata closes his eyes, and he sighs, and maybe�just this time�it doesn't count that they aren't being themselves.

hinata's never really though about the way his life would unfold once he stepped out of karasuno�s gym for the last time. once he held onto kageyama�s hand in the departure hall. once he boarded the plane and then got off it. and even before that�when he first saw a volleyball match on TV, or when he smelled the icy hot spray during his first ever real game or during his last game as a karasuno's middle blocker, or at all times he fell asleep listening to kageyama breathing evenly next to him.

he has never really given it much thought, how his life would unfold.

turned out, it was all about the space between kageyama and him. even long before they met each other�the time of solitary bike rides, and perfected sets for nobody to spike them. it was them fighting the space that used to separate them. turned out, it was all about the space between kageyama and him. the perfect distance being a stretch of kageyama's set. maybe all of it was just about them finding one another and then doing it to death. and taking this for granted, being on the other side of the globe seems ever so absurd. is this the distance of kageyama's set?

are you alright? is he alright, really?

it was supposed to be his pursuit for greatness, for becoming so much better that there would be no other choice, who has to be standing next to kageyama. just them�at the top of the world.

and he ended up running. he left kageyama with that stupid, slightly false smile plastered on his lips. the one he so feverishly wanted to wipe off since it looked so wrong. but yamaguchi and yachi were standing next to them, hyping hinata up and babbling about brazil. so hinata had to just bite hard on his own bottom lip and mimic tobio's smile�sour and plastic. (even months later, he still feels it sticking to his lips, no matter how hard he rubs on his skin).

"wait for me, a'right? i'll be back soon, you won't even notice i'm away!" that's what he said before squeezing kageyama's palm one last time and then walking away.

running away.

he keeps running (the ground is hot under the soles of his shoes).
he keeps running (out of words�the way he runs out of change. he costantly asks pedro for some spare coins�and earns a sigh and an eyeroll for that, too�and then just stares at vending machines in the streets. looking, but not seeing: cans of soda, chocolate bars and bottled water. nothing he would be hungry for. nothing he would really mean to say).

running was so much easier when he could feel kageyama's presence.

"so, i was wondering," he wasn't wondering. he doesn't mean it that way. his mouth forms words as if it didn't belong to him. the same way his body moves sometimes, diving for the ball, driven only by instincts. or rather, a need, a hunger.

the same hunger that scratches his insides when he sees kageyama right next to him, a half-step forward. always a half-step forward.

hinata was, in fact, wondering if it's true. if he is worth something only as a part of their freaky duo. if he never really grew out of their quick. the adrenalin, the heat, the pure joy. he sees it mirrored in kageyama's smirk�how could he possibly let it go? (same way he let go of kageyama's hand then, maybe).

"why did it have to be this hard?"
not the volleyball.
"it's not like i can't do it, you know? i can. i totally can and i will and it's amazing. it's all i wanted and it's so good. i'm doing great! i mean, you just wait and see, get your jaw ready to be dropped! it's� i mean� still, i kinda wish it wasn't this hard."
not the volleyball. not the volleyball.

not the volleyball�however, volleyball was all they had. their routine, the way hinata would call for a toss, and the way kageyama would bring the ball into shoyo's palm.

hinata presses the phone closer to his ear and mumbles, half to himself "i didn't think i'd miss� i'd miss home this much".

this now is him calling for a toss once again.

[nick]yo boi hinata[/nick][icon]https://i.imgur.com/vyRHeWv.png[/icon][lz]may fortune favour the fuckups[/lz]

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mybb@mybb.ru (vogeltje) — Sun, 09 Aug 2020 20:43:46 +0300

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